where for art thou sweet Piper?

The Piper's blackened chicken Cesar Wrap…

I asked God to pick one adjective to describe it. Do you know what he said? "Perfect," as he shed a little tear…as if it were created by the gods… I, of course was high when I asked him, but don't let that take away from imagining how perfect it is.

Radfordians… you know what I speak of if you attended before the Fall of 2003. It was a devastating day when the higher-up pricks of Radford decided to rip out glorious Pipers and replace it with a gaggle of hardly mediocre set of restaurants… I mean come on! Sbarro's???? Au bon Pain's food tastes like moldy cardboard! Their Cesar wraps not only turn your nose up, but make you feel vomitious when you think of what you once had.

My entire freshman year diet revolved around the blackened Caesar wraps at Pipers. Served ONLY at lunch time, these wraps served as my only nutritional source for two semesters. TWO GLORIOUS SEMESTERS. One for lunch, and one for dinner, and the rest of my diet was beer, liquor and maybe some late night ramen noodles on occasion.

Many years have passed and few things have stuck with me. Friends have come and gone. I've graduated from college… but these wraps… oh, these wraps… I've searched overseas, across the country to find a Cesar wrap that could tickle my taste-buds the way I so yearn for them to. NOTHING! FUCKING NOTHING.

Where for art though glorious Piper?

Make me a blackened Cesar wrap with a few tomatoes, a splash of red onion, and throw a pinch more of your Caesar dressing on there for old time sake.

Holly, Sabrina... Other friends of Pipers, I have decided that I will not rest until I find the secret to Piper's glorious blackened chicken Cesar wrap. And when I do, I will throw a Cesar wrap party for my fellow Radfordians. Where we will sit and smile (perhaps shed a tear) over our simple, innocent and much more energetic youthful college years.

God Speed.

-Brewsky